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Showing posts from 2014

Miserable joy and glorious pain

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"I don't know where you're leading, unless you've led me here" is a line from a Rich Mullins song, penned near the end of his life.  I think about that line often.  Every once in awhile I slow down and look back over the years to the afternoon spent lying on my back on this rock, in a clearing in the Rockies at 10,000 feet.  I've just passed the 10 year anniversary of this 4 hours spent alone with God in a place that only God could have created.  To be honest, this past year has gone by so fast that I've not really taken the time to stop and look back again.  But I'm back for a morning in the place where so many posts were originated on this blog that took its name from this moment in time on "my rock".  I'm back and looking once again at this picture that reminds me of this defining chapter in the story that would propel me into the life and ministry that we now find ourselves in.  All that I can say, in an honest reflection, is that I

Day 27 "30 years in 30 days"

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I'm going to post this today because I'm pretty sure that I won't have any time to get it in by the 31st of this month.  The 31st is the day after our "30 years in 30 days" celebration.  If you've joined this show late, then you should know that the 30 years is the number of years that we've been married and the 30 days represents 30 different pictorial visions of moments in time along our journey.  On the 31st day we have chosen to renew our vows before God and friends and then throw a party to honor it.  This was all my wife's idea... the "30 days" not the vow renewal/party thing.  It's shaping up to be quite the event, which is fitting because so was the wedding.  Anyway, I'm sitting down this afternoon to imagine what might be contained in my half of the vows and thinking back, not only over 30 years of married life but a total of 47 years of knowing the most incredible person that I've ever encountered. We have had an incr

What's it gonna take?

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Far be it from me to want to jump onto the bandwagon of internet remembrances of Robin Williams, his life, death, and legacy.  Let me just say upfront that I was a huge admirer of everything that comprised the life of this very talented and gifted artist.. the good and the bad, the honesty and the energy,the humor and the intensely serious.  I grew up with him... not literally, but figuratively from "Mork and Mindy" until yesterday.  Not wanting to be overly dramatic, I'll risk sharing that the news of his passing, particularly the way of his passing, seems to have burrowed deeply into my soul since yesterday.  It's an odd thing really.  It's not about any sort of connection or relationship that we had.  I've not shed tears of personal loss.  I don't personally identify, at least not that I'm aware of, with the level of depression that was obviously tormenting him.  I've wanted to walk away from a good many things in my life, but never life itsel

Welcome back?

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It's been three months.  It's the longest stretch, I believe, of silence on this now 10 year old collection of randomness that I have struggled to use for the sole purpose of maintaining sanity and balance.  As I read back over the years, I see glimpses of my mental state weaving their way like a tapestry through the phases that comprise my life as a self proclaimed pastoral artist in the great city of Seattle.  I see glimpses of whimsy (I really just have always wanted to use that word), glimpses of profound thoughtfulness ... And humility, and glimpses of sarcastic and cynical darkness.  Sometimes it is hard to look back and read these ... And then again sometimes it has been encouraging. My absence over these past few months I can attribute entirely to an attempt at not indulging the cynic that lurks below the surface.  My ever encouraging wife has been insisting that I begin writing again as it truly is balance and we truly are trying to regain ours.  Many of you know that

view from the ground

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I put my shirt on backwards this morning.  That's all you really need to know in order to understand my current state of mind.  Or perhaps one more detail; it took my, nearly blind without her contacts in, wife's observation to point it out to meets morning.  Just one more piece of evidence in the mounting case against my own personal abilities to carry out this task laid before us.  I'm referring to the launching, or planting .... Launching just sounds so much more forward motion like ... Of this new community dedicated to following and being Jesus in the city. I'm very much ok with not knowing what I'm really doing ... In fact, I think that my awareness of this...my assessment says that I'm very "self aware"...is in fact brilliance in the making.  It keeps me off my feet and desperately relying on Gods still small voice to propel us forward. I am not ashamed to tell you, from the inside, that this church planting thing is not as cool and brave and

No Starbucks here

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I must admit to a real quagmire (my new favorite word) of mixed emotions as I write this.  In the 10 years worth of life's lessons and musings contained in this blog, many of you would note that Starbucks has had a place of prominence.  Many mornings, with a grande drip and a croissant and a beachside window seat, have been recorded here.  In all of the incredible things that we've experienced in our new journey of church, one thing has never been replaced ... My early morning ritual of viewing the world through the window on Alki.  Over the years I have wandered and tried other venues to change things up, but always returning eventually to watch the sun rise over the ferry's on their downtown trek across the sound. With all of my fondness in the context of my writing, one thing cannot be shaken from the reality of the Starbucks coffee experience itself... It is sorely lacking when placed besides so many of the local venues.  Now to be fair, when we are outside of the No

Everyone's a critic

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I actually found a spot to sit in the land of badge people, known outside of my neighborhood as Amazon.  A seat in a comfortable spot in the Starbucks located at ground zero is a valuable commodity.  It doesn't often happen here during business hours 6 days a week, so I'm feeling pretty fortunate.  I have Van Morrison in my headphones, wondering if any people of the badges actually know who he is, and am just spending a bit of time people watching.  Lest you think that's code for being lazy, I'm actually working.  It's a bit of a self imposed research project that all people who practice the pastoral arts need to consider a priority task.  Actually, all people who claim a relationship with Jesus need to see this as a more noble task than it tends to be considered in the contemporary church.  A bit of contextualizing wouldn't really hurt anyone.  Jesus was, after all, the master of it.  If we claim to follow him, it only makes sense that we employ some of his met

Hope along the path to church planting

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Sitting here at Starbucks in the midst of Amazon and wondering again how I got here ... Not in Starbucks, that's an easy one.  I'm wondering how I find myself in a place where, once again, there is little to guide me accept a combination of feeling and fleeting whispers to keep going.  The feeling pushes me forward and the whispers assure me of the path ... Or so I am imagining.  Some people think that we, my wife and I, have gone off the deep end in this new adventure.  I'd be likely to agree, if it weren't for the whispers.   Before it is confirmed that I am crazy or that I'm now hearing voices, let me clarify that the whispers come in moments that I get to experience the unquestionable assurances that I am in the right place.  I would call them unquestionable because they are moments that don't happen in ordinary life.  I believe that they are ushered in by what those of my faith would call the Holy Spirit... As in the Father, Son and ... Let me give you

Dodging Amazon

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This new land that I find myself surrounded by has given me new inspiration for undertaking something that has been pushing me from the inside for quite sometime...almost more time that I'd care to admit.  Actually I just discovered a bench mark when, through some divine inspiration combined with a very practical need to "get a life" beyond the one I'm consumed with most of my waking hours, I sat down to journey back down memory lane.  I ended up at my very first blog post .  Having gone back to the beginning, two things struck deep within me.  The first one was the reality of how long ago that was ... nearly 9 years ago.  So many things have transpired in my life since then.   When I began this online odyssey I was in a different neighborhood, with a different future in mind, and different views on what it would mean for me to be faithful in following God's call on my life.  Our family portrait only had four faces and they were all in the same house.  Now the p

available

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This morning I heard someone that many of you would know respond to a question posed to him with the comment "I think that everyone just needs to do what's right for themselves".  This wasn't a blanket statement, it was contained within a context to be sure, but it is certainly a reflection of where we are in our culture of "me and mine".  I'm not naïve and I've not just crawled out from under a rock.  I understand that this has been along time coming...culturally speaking.  My alarm comes from a "light bulb" moment  culminating from my long struggle with the faith system that I've dedicated my pastoral artistry to.  Everyone else who does not share my love for Jesus can excuse the rant, but if you are a professed follower of the Jesus of history and the book of books please hang around for a bit.  I have something for you to consider. If you have been invested much at all in your faith process, particularly the evangelical version,