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Showing posts from 2010

Out There

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Back down at the beach after a week away. The last week that I was here nearly did me in so I needed the break, but I did live to fight another day. School marches on with this one last semester in my sights. The end is near, crawl if you have to. At the end of another year I’m still having a hard time looking backwards on it. It’s a fatal flaw that I seem to have, not looking back I mean. It’s the main reason that none of you received a Christmas letter from us. It was my job to initiate the first draft. There is a rumor that it might become a New Years letter, but don’t look for it before the 1st as I’m still straining to see what’s back while avoiding the auld langsyne. I still don’t know what that even means. It’s not that this was a bad year by any means. In many ways it was, as my wife would put it, a fabulous year. We watched a daughter walk down the aisle. We watched a granddaughter taking her first steps. We watched a village in a jungle see the first clean water

toys

Well it’s warm and dry in here this morning…which is more than I can say about anywhere else around here. I brought the 4 wheel drive down to the beach just in case. You never know what to expect when the hills are sliding here. I don’t mind the rain as much as I thought I would. At least I’m not out shoveling it. It doesn’t often rain here nearly as much as is rumored, but when it does, it can come in waves that can get old after awhile. One of the effects of the rain here is that I spend a great deal more time inside with princess Lily relearning how to amuse myself. I look forward to my play days with her. Grandma says that she needs to learn to amuse herself a little more than grandpa allows, but I’m having too much fun to pay much attention to that bit of advice. I’m sure that she’s right, but I’m sure that I’d rather play too. Lily is teaching me a lot through our play time. I’m also being reminded of things that I already knew…like the fact that it doesn’t matter how

investment

As we bust now headlong into the Christmas season, I am in the paradox of trying to do something deeper than gifts, while at the same time trying to figure out which gifts to buy and for who. It is not a mystery to me why people just dive in and submerge themselves in the pool of consumerism. It is just easier. You might want to argue with me on this, that’s your right, although you’d raise some eyebrows by talking back to your screen. In my opinion, which is generally the one that I write about here, it is easier to bridge your relationships with gifts, even meaningless ones, than to figure out a way to invest in them more personally. There are, I think, a few reasons for this. For one, it’s easier because many will give you lists of things they want or need. Or for some people, what they want, like or need is fairly obvious. So the challenge is the prices, the crowds, and the time. It’s a logistical challenge. Now don’t misunderstand…I realize that these logistical challeng

spectators

With Thanksgiving in the rear view mirror, it is now time to set our sights on Christmas as I enjoy celebrating December 1st with a sunny morning view at the beach. It all begins for Joanne and I tomorrow as we make the long drive to Mount Hood down in Oregon to perform a wedding ceremony at the beautiful and very snowy Timberline Lodge. We’ll get to enjoy the snow and fireplace for a few days before heading back for the annual tree lighting celebration here in my corner of the world. I have the honor of once again speaking at the event and trying to add a bit of Christmas meaning to the beginning of the season. It’s a tradition here which really kicks off the season for all of those who will be hanging out with us. Every place that we’ve lived through the years has held to their own unique celebrations of the season. Joanne and I have always added our own to the mix to create memories that are unique to every place and every year. Chances are, that wherever you are reading thi

focus

So I love my 4 wheel drive SUV this morning. These past few days its been worth every inch of its gas guzzling carbon footprint. For those of you not from the area, we’ve been dealing with another crippling blast of winter here in Seattle. Snow, ice and 50 mile an hour winds combined with hills, a general fear and unfamiliarity with such occurrences has not been a welcome addition to the holiday season here. As I walked up to the door of my beachfront caffeine stop I was trying to figure out what the nasty film was that covered the entire storefront. My brilliant powers of deductive reasoning, along with a swiped finger on my tongue, told me that it was a layer of salt spray from the water a hundred yards away. As someone who has experienced the blizzards of the Midwest and the deep snows of the Northeast, I would have to admit that this storm was impressive. So strong and so much like a true winter memory it was that it drove me to the unthinkable. Over the past few weeks I hav

productive

It’s still dark out and my eyes are struggling to find the beach. Despite the warning on the cup, Starbucks brew is sliding effortlessly and quickly down my throat and Pandora is playing in my head. It’s an indication that I’m working on launching some type of a productive day. Good luck with that. There’s a whole line of people standing in the mist waiting for an idling bus to open its doors. I think the driver was in line ahead of me. They are waiting for the start of their productive days…I can see it in their eyes. That’s the difference between them and myself. If I were headed to the office it probably would not be the same as heading towards a productive destiny. It would be heading towards plumbing issues, blinking answering machines, bills to pay, and salespeople trying to sell me the latest in Christian crap. I am fortunate that I have the freedom to choose where I meet my productive self. What I do with my life is best done

center

Sun is up…water is calm…air has some Fall briskness to it and I’m watching the ferries emerge from around the point as their journeys are watched over by the Space Needle standing solitary in the distance. I don’t usually have this view, but I moved to the other side of the room this morning… Let’s be clear though, it wasn’t by choice…it was an adjustment. I’ve done well with it though I think, after some mindless cyber wandering, my mind is drifting back to center as Van Morrison is singing about wild nights on my Pandora channel. I remember those days… now my song of choice is “I ain’t as good as I once was”. Anyway, for a change I’m back here in Seattle and get to stay here for the foreseeable future. Guatemala a few weeks ago was life altering. Indiana last week was about all that you could expect out of it in the first week of November. Air travel, as is the case nowadays, was a treat. So as a result…

one

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It’s been three weeks since I’ve been back in the familiar world of my Starbucks at the beach. I must tell you that the familiar is not all that familiar any more. While I’ve been gone, some further changes have been completed inside while outside an entirely new building is taking shape. There is new art work hanging behind me and new lighting in front of me. Perhaps it is fitting that home has changed a bit while I was gone since a good deal of what I thought I knew has changed along the journey as well. I have attached this picture, one of my favorites from last weeks journey as a memory of the change. I’m not so sure it has been change as much as it has been reminder. I needed to be reminded once again of the power of one. One life, mine or someone else's, can change the destiny of many. One church, relentlessly following Jesus, can change the destiny of many. One organization , with the right perspective, vision, and motives, can change the destiny of many. I have t

mixed

So this morning I’m in a different Starbucks and a different city, but I will say that I’ve found the match to my chair. It feels like a long lost friend, even though it really means that I’m once again contributing to the cooking of my upper thighs. Whatever....You get the bad with the good. It’s a mixed bag. In my headphones, Bruce is traveling down Thunder Road as I get ready to head home after being gone way too long. Ten of the past fourteen days have been spent trying in vain to fill my head with stuff that will eventually become a graduate degree. It’s a time that I always look forward to, and then can’t wait to get out of. What it will eventually get me I have no idea, but I do know that you get the bad with the good. It’s a mixed bag. In the midst of it I was able to spend a few days

Fall

Back to the beach today on a beautiful Fall morning. I’m surrounded here on National Coffee Day by the retirement clan, dad’s with kids before school, and the assorted fitness freaks trying to no avail to make me feel guilty for my “just say no to spandex” stance. It seems as if my posts will be rather spotty of the next several months. I am in “finish or die trying” mode when it comes to grad school and to tell you the truth, I am now in a love / hate relationship with my laptop. Between an increased course load, the regular correspondence that flows through this thing and my need to develop a message for my community o’ faith each week, I cannot even bear to look at the screen much longer. On top of that, in the past months I have put all of my reference material for the Book of Books on my laptop and also purchased a Nook (like a Kindle only better) so I now spend most of my waking hours looking at a screen. Something has to give

voices

It’s a foggy morning at the beach, making it a bit difficult to see some of the finer features of the Seattle skyline. If you were to drive along the beach here this morning you would not be all that impressed by the images that you were seeing. You wonder about those picture postcard views and impressive claims of snow capped mountains and the space needle and all that. You’d begin to buy into all the claims of rain and gloom and images of umbrellas and fleece. Well ok …. The part about the fleece is actually true. I think it was invented here. My point is that there is another view here,

enjoy

It’s just another day in paradise. Even in the rain, there is no place I’d rather be… at the moment. That feeling has a habit of changing, all in a glimpse, in my experience. I’m pretty sure that I’ve felt that way just about every place we’ve lived. Today is the first day of school for many in my part of the country. Even though I’m beyond the days of new clothes, new pencils, and new pictures of faces caught between the excitement of a new year and the mortal embarrassment of having parents with cameras. Actually, as I think of it, after 20 some years, this is actually the first that we haven’t dealt with a child and the start of a new year. Now that my youngest is married, we no longer have to drop her off at college. It’s her husbands deal now to make sure she’s up and away on her first day. In a perverted twist of fate though, I find myself still a perpetual state of learning. Yesterday was the first day of my final year of grad school journey number 1. I am now termin

answers

Well……….. remember what I said last week about “as long as I have my chair and my coffee” that everything would be alright. I have my coffee. Guess what’s missing from this picture? That’s right…tell them what they’ve won Johnny. Crime of Crimes…my chair is gone. I’m trying to be optimistic and think that perhaps it went to some Smithsonian tribute to Starbucks. The whole feel to this place has changed, probably for the better I guess. The baristas really like the change and since they’re the ones who look at it every day, I’m thinking they have a better handle on it than I do. It’s a visual reminder to me that change doesn’t always turn out the way you had anticipated. I’m living that right now anyway so I might as well live it here too. Last week I also shared that I was wrestling with the question “Is anonymity too high a price to pay for significance?”. One more week of pondering has also resolved that question for me as well. All of my preconceived ideas on what my ans

anonymous

My Starbucks by the beach is being renovated this week and the evidence is all around me this morning. The good news is that, so far, my chair is still here. I’m guessing that they could tear the place down around me and as long as I still have my chair and my coffee I’d survive the change. On week 2 of my sabbatical, it kind of resembles what I might look like on the inside while I attempt some renovation time of my own. From my own DIY projects I have learned that renovation goes through phases. There is demolition. There are glimpses of vision of what the project may look like. There is the reality of the mess that things become and the feeling that it might get worse before it gets better, and then…..

26

Yesterday, I and the love of my life celebrated year 26 of our incredible marriage journey. We relaxed, wandered some of our favorite parts of Seattle and then finished off the day with an amazing dinner on a patio overlooking the water of Puget sound while the setting sun made lavender silhouettes out of the mountains against a clear blue sky. A few tables away a young couple sat celebrating their first anniversary. This began a conversation between my wife and I about where we had been on our first anniversary , trying to recall where we have spent subsequent anniversaries, and how much more madly in love we are now than when we began. Unfortunately, try as I might, I cannot remember where we spent each of our anniversaries. I can remember a good percentage, but I have to admit once more, “I ain’t as good as I once was”. I do know, or at least have a good feeling, that most of them were reflective of our lives at that moment. In other words, as I look back on where we were

clouds

This morning marks the first full day of my one month sabbatical. The marine layer is very thick down here at the beach and I’m finding it a fitting scene for the beginning of this time. If I were to sit here the entire day I would witness a gradual clearing of the skies. Right now I cannot even see the water from my big comfy chair by the window. Soon though the water will appear, and then I’ll begin to catch a glimpse of the ferries. Eventually I’ll see clearly the sun shining from the snow capped peaks across the water, the city skyline, and everything else a sunny day in Seattle promises to reveal. The reason I’m on a sabbatical in the first place is that in just about every part of my being, I’m sitting in the marine layer (aka fog). The most frequently asked question from those who have heard of my status these next 4 weeks is “what is a sabbatical?”. Dictionary dot com identifies as “any extended period of leave from one's customary work, esp. for rest, to acquire

fabulous

Some of you will be annoyed as you read that I’m enjoying a nice cool start to the day here at my seat by the beach. The marine layer, known as fog in other parts of the world, is in which only promises another blue sky, sunny and 80 degree day. We have settled into the weather pattern that is the reason I won’t leave Seattle in the Summer. It is, in a word, fabulous. Anyway….enough of the taunting. While the weather on the outside has been fabulous, inside it’s been a fairly turbulent season. This week represents, I think, the eye of the storm. It is peaceful. It is clear. Best of all, it’s quiet,

doing

I’m entering the calm before the storm. The grand event takes place 16 days from now. I think that plans are going well, but what do I know…I’m only Father of the Bride. What I do know is that hundreds of people are about to descend upon my house for a week in 11 more days. Ok, so it’s more like dozens…. Well maybe only about 1 dozen, but for a recluse like me it’ll seem like more. I’m kind of looking forward to it though. 10 years of west coast living has seemed to mellow me out a bit. In preparation for the event, I have just completed the third installment of our new DIY reality show called “What the Hell Were You Thinking?”. This last installment involved painting the entire exterior of the house myself. If nothing else, these projects have firmly and not so lovingly established my advancing years and recently recognized mortality. This episode involved toying around with heat exhaustion, but at least I didn’t fall from a ladder. I will tell you that at one point, I was

prayer

The beach is the place to be today. The sun is out, the skies are blue, and for the first time in 9 months the thermometer is going to surge past 80 degrees. The retired contingent has decided to place themselves nearly in my lap as they compare today's forecast with their months in Arizona. Even though I’d rather not focus on things like weather, I’ll have to admit that this has been a very poor excuse for a Summer. Actually Spring wasn’t much to write home about either. The Fourth of July has come and gone and we’ve not been out on our deck yet. Who’d have thought that my late June DIY pergola project would not disrupt our outside activities at all. So Sunday it was like 65 degrees and tomorrow we will reach into the 90’s. I thought that I had left behind this kind of thing when I moved out of the Northeast to a more reasonable climate here, apparently not this year. Anyway, with my wife in Florida this week experiencing what a real 90 plus degree Summer feels like, I hav

history

It’s a bit brighter down here than it has been in recent memory. It’s also a bit quieter…. Probably because people are getting their caffeine to go in order to enjoy the 5 minutes of sun. I don’t have that luxury today, I have work to do. Specifically, at this time of the morning, I’m engaged in keeping my head above water in my attempt at higher education. I’ve got to tell you honestly that Summer classes suck. I’m glad that Summer school was never part of my routine back in my high school days when I actually knew what I was doing. School should be from September to May. Anything more is quite depressing. I’ll also tell you that the Summer class thing is even worse when you’re not enjoying the class in question. I admit that this is a first for me in the “not enjoying” part of this journey.

mortal

So this is like the 4th week in a row that looks exactly the same down here. It’s gloomy, misty, gray, and damp. I feel like I’m in “Ground Hog Day”. It’s been an unusual Spring, even for the “land of the concrete sky”. I am confident that, any day now, we’ll break out of this and it’ll be Summer once more in the most amazing place to ever spend a Summer. It’ll be none too soon as I have a long list of outdoor projects that need attention before THE EVENT happens in August. I still imagine, even on days like this, that I’ll have time to finish. Who am I kidding? I’ll never finish because I’ll never be finished. There is always “one more thing” …. “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie”. Some of you know what I mean by this… the rest of you can rely on Google to figure it out. Anyway… I used to think that, with enough time, I could accomplish anything. I handle my graduate studies that way. I handle my house projects that way. Sometimes, I’ll confess, I handle my teaching prep time

running

Sitting here watching all of the commuters running for busses, I wonder where each is going. Are they running because they’re late or because they can’t wait to start their day? It’s graduation time again and I’m wondering how many of them this morning are “living the dream” that they envisioned on the day of their own graduation. This week, in my community of faith, as part of my pastoral opportunity, I am in a group that is reviewing applications for scholarships that we are privileged to be the stewards of. There are plenty of dreams listed. I can’t help but wonder how many of these will be realized. Where will they be running off to on a Wednesday morning, some years down the road? We live in the land of dreams, where we tell our wide eyed graduates that the world is their oyster, ready to be plucked from the sea. We don’t tell them about oil spills that may threaten to destroy the oyster of their dreams. We avoid the difficult conversations of failure and the trials of t

same

Some days are better than others. I can sit and stare at this sentence for the next hour until my grande drip goes cold and no longer holds the potential of a lawsuit, but it won’t change its truth. Even though I know this intellectually, some days seem to go out of their way to drive this reality home. So I come down here where I can get a sense of same and seek to begin again. A seat in front of the fireplace with a waterfront view is helpful. A good set of earphones with some Jars of Clay running through my brain, drowning out the disjointed conversations around me is even better. An open schedule which gives me an entire morning to shuffle brain cells back in place is the best. It is interesting that in a place like this, some come here to gather in groups and others come here to avoid groups altogether. I fall into the latter category. That’s where the headphones come in. And guess what… as I am typing this in “real time” a gentleman sits down across from me , I’ve had

Princess

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It’s a gray morning down at the beach as I get caught up on some of my work that is screaming for attention. I’ve been serving a princess these past few days and these other things have taken a back seat. Like so many others of royalty, she is not as much concerned with my agenda, she has her own. As I would assume it would be in any other circumstance where one would get to serve royalty, it’s been a privilege to accompany her as she explores the world that she’s only had 7 months experience with. We have this honor, Joanne and I, every week, and every week it’s a new lesson and new experiences. I’m not sure who is learning more, her highness or her servants. It is true, what someone has wisely said in the past, “Grandchildren are reward for you not killing your kids when they were younger”. Every moment is a wonderful adventure of learning and self discovery….. and I’m not talking about hers. I think that the greatest learning along with plenty of relearning is on the side o

push

Another welcome spring morning down here at my caffeinated beach front view. I don’t have much of an agenda after having just finished a required posting along the way of my perpetual quest for higher learning. I’m at about the 2/3 mark towards completion of a degree and it seems as if I’m once again at the “push through” point. It’s the place where you finally step off momentarily to consider the costs, financial, emotional, and physical, and weigh them against the “imagined” outcome of having this paper in hand. I’ve been in this place before. It’s when the question “What in God’s name am I trying to accomplish here?” comes front and center. I am too far from the origin of this journey to clearly remember what I was trying to accomplish, so it’s time to just put my head down and push for the finish. Maybe if I just fall forward, the forward progress will carry me across the line. This time around I’m 16 years older and not sure of the reserves that I know I’ll need for the

frontier

It’s another good looking morning at the beach. Spring is here, at least for a day… the coffee is hot… and an Eagles concert is playing on my laptop as I think back over the last two weeks since I’ve gotten down here. Our 3 week DIY reality show “What the Hell Were We Thinking?” has just officially ended last night. I might add that it was very successful and we are more in love than we were when we began the kitchen renovation experiment. It all looks fabulous and my wife did an amazing job of managing the dream throughout the process. Last night was the first official meal as well as the shakedown cruise for the new stove and both were a great success. In the midst of this process, we took a much appreciated break in Sun River, Oregon which probably saved us both mentally and physically, even though we were nearly snowbound during our run through one of the mountain passes. You’d think, since I’m a native of upstate New York, that snow in May would not get to me, but it absol

renovation part 2

Okay, so you know its early when even the newspaper delivery person is yawning. I’m here getting an early start at the beach because I need to fit three days worth of work into one day today. Some of you are weary of 60 hour work weeks. I’d consider that a welcome break right about now. I haven't seen 60 hours in months…. But don’t weep for me, we’re getting a new kitchen. This is week 2 of our own version of some new DIY reality show called “What the Hell Were We Thinking?”. It’s actually close to being on time and on budget, so I guess that is something. In addition to that, this is my final week of my grad school Spring semester, complete with the final projects due. And of course, there are my usual unusual duties as the leader of a community of faith. Along with this we have included 2 days with the fair Princess Lily. So why am I spending time writing this? One word….. “denial”. We have a self imposed deadline for the kitchen remodel of this weekend. I’m still th

renovation

This week marks the official beginning of our “Extreme Makeover” kitchen edition. Joanne and I are beyond the point of no return on this one. Yesterday we were still in the early excitement phase of the project. You know the phase. It’s the Home Depot, window shopping, dreaming of the finished product while buying some of the lower cost items so we don’t get in too far over our heads, phase. Accompanied by “The Princess” Lily, we made our way through the flooring and tile aisles one last time, picking up a few last minute color samples. It was like the preflight check in a NASA shuttle launch as the excitement builds. Only a few hours later we were in the midst of the project, complete with a sledge hammer and the, wife encouraged, stylish eye protective wear. I’ll have to admit to liking the sledgehammer part… it’s a guy thing. The secret is to be effective with it, but not too effective as that can have a great impact on the finished product….which, curiously enough, seems t

rest

It’s a miserable day at the beach, but the fireplace is on and Johnny Cash is in my headphones so all is not lost. Just a week ago I was preparing for a trip across the “Misty Mountains” to Boise wondering if my rental agency would come through with my much anticipated convertible. They came through and it didn’t disappoint. Joanne and I enjoyed the trip in a 2010 Mustang that had only 9 miles on it when I drove it out of the lot. We were even fortunate enough to get some “top down” weather to enjoy with it. Now here I sit in my big comfy chair on another Tuesday morning looking ahead into a schedule that looms like thunderclouds before a summer Midwestern storm. This next 3 weeks is approaching like a train that has no ability to break. I just heard Gandalf say that “things have been set in motion that cannot be undone” as the restraining bar comes down over my head for the rollercoaster ride that is just beginning. I can hear the clack, clack, clack, as the car lurches up to

preparation

It’s a blustery day at the beach this morning. I’m feeling a bit like Winnie the Pooh, although most would consider me to be the human version of Eyeore. I’ve got a full day ahead of me as I prepare for a Seattle to Boise run over the Misty Mountains. We optimistically rented a convertible for the trip to warmer weather, but, as it turns out, we’ll have to trudge through the snow in the passes first before we can really enjoy some promised sun. I’m not too worried though because, let’s be honest, it’ll be a miracle if the rental company actually has the car that I reserved when I get there to pick it up. I’m about zero for twenty on actually getting the car I reserved over the past few years. And they always seem to, with great joy, want to give me an upgrade to an SUV to make up for the fact that they don’t have my car. Maybe if they can give me an SUV that gets the same mileage as the smaller car that I actually paid for would I be as enthusiastic. Last year, we rented a van

Easter

All is quiet and as it should be at the beach this morning. The rain has stopped. The ferries and the busses are doing what they do. My Starbucks chair has my butt in it and the fireplace is still on. This morning kind of resembles the calm before the storm in my world. I’ve just come from a week of mom visiting from the East, a daughter’s wedding shower, a few more days of princess Lily, and generally not much structure or schedule whatsoever. It’s been a decent time of head clearing…not that I can afford that any. Now it’s time to focus on the week that lies ahead. In case you didn’t already figure it out…this week is fairly big in my world. Being a leader in my community o’ faith, I tend to look at things like Jesus walking out of his tomb as a big deal. And just as a bit of defense for my beliefs, this one event is fairly unique in the world of religion and faith. We have the only faith whose originator and leading figure walked from his tomb. The rest are just….. well

storage

I’m up and moving just a bit earlier than usual this morning. I’m picking up my daughter at the airport from an early flight. She’s flying in for a Spring Break visit and one of her wedding showers. Another transitional week in my life I would suppose. At least it means that I’ll need to clear out room in the garage to store the gifts until they have an apartment. Let me pause here to give those of you who think that once the “kids are grown” that you can downsize your living arrangements. I know, as my parents before me know, that this is not a good idea. Your job as a parent is to reside in a home larger than your children until such a time as they buy their own home. In the mean time, you become a “U Store it” outlet. Some of you, with children more numerous than myself, may have to own your own franchise. I need to do a good job with the garage arrangements. Besides the wedding stuff that will begin to arrive, I also happen to be storage for a Spring garage sale. And do

IKEA

Another fabulous morning is beginning at the beach with some extremely hot (think lawsuit) coffee, big comfy chair, and a fireplace that is actually on. It’s quiet here in my little corner of the world. It’s still dark out thanks to daylight savings. I can still see the lights of the ferries as they shuffle people from the seclusion of their islands to exposure of their city. The 37 is shuttling a new group of weary workers downtown. I could feel guilty, but I’ve given it up for lent. I’m feeling a bit under the weather this morning. I think it’s the residual effect of princess Lily’s less than peaceful sleep from the other night. It gives me an even greater appreciation for parents of younger children, although I must admit to enjoying the seniors tour version of parenting that is otherwise referred to as grandparenting. I just wish that it came with better instructions. Speaking of instructions…. as I have been leading my community o’ faith through a study in the book of

Lily

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So like Bret Favre, minus the athletic skills and the unbelievable salary, I’m coming out of retirement. It’s not all that its cracked up to be. I went on this sabbatical of sorts a few months back because I found that I had run out of things in my brain to write about. The schooling, the schedule, and life seemed to have taken its toll and I was running on empty. Now I am finding that I need to write again to maintain a sense of balance and sanity, and we all know how important that is. Also, believe it or not, this early morning journey to the beach every week gave my week an anchor and sense of order. All of you who know me can appreciate how important that is in my life. It gives me a schedule again. I’m happy to share, as I begin this journey once again, that my chair is right where I left it, and miracle of miracles…. The fireplace is on this morning. Must be under new management here…or else it is a definitive sign that economic recovery is upon us. Either way, the sun