Tuesday, June 07, 2005

welcome back

It's been a long time. I'm not sure if anyone missed me here, but I missed being here. I really don't know who, if anyone, actually stumbles onto this space in cyberland. I've been gone for the most part of three weeks various places with a commitment to not hang around my lap top. It was good to escape for awhile and wise to not drag my world along with me. That's the whole point of escape isn't it? There is value in getting away. There is also a price. One price is that the amount of time it takes you to recover from time away is exactly double the amount of time that you actually were away. For example, as I prepare to leave for a week away, I am consumed the week before with getting last minute things done. I am then consumed the week after with catching up on what I have missed. One week away costs me two weeks. So it only makes sense that I would not take any of the life I am trying to escape from with me. The other cost is time away from the familiar. I seem to have a need to get back to the familiar after a few days away. What once seemed glamorous now becomes a real pain in the back side. Hotels, meals out, air travel all at one time seemed to me to symbolize some form of success. Now I see them as just another cruel hoax that the evil world gets to play on those of us who get caught looking and longing. Wish long enough and you just may get what you wish for, and if they are worldly wishes, they all turn out the same. Their empty promises. Take flying for example. I once envied those who I saw as priviledged enough to wing their way carelessly across the skies in no time at all. I coveted their lives. But as my life in some regards becomes their life, I now curse them. Air travel is nothing more than Greyhound at 30,000 feet. The only difference is that Greyhound has a better track record at keeping their schedules and I have a better chance of having my luggage arrive on time. Travelling is no longer a treat, it's no longer a priviledge. It's an annoyance. I long to get back to the familiar. So here I am, wherever here is. All I know is that it is familiar.