Monday, January 08, 2007

listening

I’m at a loss for words lately. Let me clarify that. Actually I’m just at a loss for words to write coherently into sentences on a screen. It’s been two weeks since I’ve been here and I still have nothing. At the same time, I’m rarely at a loss for spoken words. Sometimes that gets me into difficulty needlessly. Somehow I’ve become wired so that, as far as writing goes, if I don’t have something to say worth saying or an idea bursting forth from my insides, then I don’t write anything. I wonder how life would look if I had a matching philosophy for the spoken word. My sermons would most certainly be shorter. I remember, once upon a time, when I struggled to put together a 20 minute message and now I struggle to keep it less than 40. I wonder sometimes how much of it is added wisdom, how much of it is God’s voice, how much of it is mine. It’s a humbling exercise when it occurs.
I’m at the point in life where, if I choose to say nothing, people will pull, prod, and even bait me to weigh in on an issue. I’ve said so much through the years that I guess they just can’t believe that I’d have nothing to say. I used to avoid those kinds of people. You know the type, the ones who know everything that there is to know about every subject from Aardvarks to Zoology. I’ve come very close to being those people. I can have an out of body experience where I picture myself running from myself as my mouth careens, avalanche like, out of control, taking everything with it. The truth is that there do exist subjects within the sphere of my life to which I have little or no interest. So with that in mind, I wonder even more why I wouldn’t stay quiet and let people more experienced than me wax eloquently on those subjects in question. I used to be that way. The irony is that in doing so, I actually tended to learn valuable information on said subjects and in doing so, inadvertently, I became an amateur expert myself, and then the mouth would reopen. And the cycle continues.
It has begun to occur to me lately, once again, that my spiritual journey often mirrors my physical existence and there are some valuable lessons to learn with this. What I mean is, If I would simply listen more and talk less in my interaction with my creator, I would once again learn valuable insights and possibly even deeper truths. And said insights, if applied appropriately, might just translate into wisdom that is far beyond me.
I have to deal, on a daily basis, with delicately created lives. They’re lives created in the image of the creator and redeemed by a sacrifice greater than I can comprehend. They’re lives sometimes caught in the muck of life circumstances and even possibly poor choices and sometimes I rely too much on my own insight and not enough on His. Less talking and more listening would certainly improve the odds that any interaction with me would be influenced by my interaction with Him. It also might just fill that 40 minutes with something worth saying.

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