Monday, April 14, 2008

leaks

I jumped off of another cliff this weekend. I finished the details and mailed the application to a new chapter in higher education. I’ve been contemplating this for years and wrestling with the actual paperwork for months. Friday morning I took a deep breath and let it slide from my fingers into the waiting hands of the US Postal service. So now it begins……maybe. After all, I haven’t been accepted yet. It’s actually a risk for me to even mention it. How will I answer if, in the Fall, a well meaning friend asks, “whatever happened with….”?
The other risk that I’m taking is fulfilling my own law of “decreased brain function”. I have this theory that states that there is a tendency in individuals who are pursuing ever increasing levels of higher education to have ever decreasing brain function. It’s not a law, but I have proposed it as a tendency. I don’t have comprehensive statistical analysis. I do have plenty of personal observation. I had always sworn off returning to school for this very reason. I can’t afford any more of a decrease. However, I have discovered that my brain just naturally leaks. What I once thought was adequate learning for my calling no longer feels the case.
I don’t feel that I have any choice in the matter. It was inevitable for my own longevity. It seems as if the longer I participate in my community o’ faith, the more I write, the more I teach, the more I counsel and marry and bury, the lower the storehouse goes. Over the years I have tried to combat this through conferences, seminars, and books. I read everything that comes in print form. One reason I inhabit Starbucks is for the “the way I see it” writings on the sides of the cups. I read grocery store signs, and toilet paper wrappers trying to stem the tide and build a better base for my brain activity. I read road side signs from businesses. One of my favorites is a sign for a radiator repair shop claiming that they are “the best place in town to take a leak.” That’s a comforting thought after so much coffee.
My hopes for this new chapter are fairly simple. First of all, I’d like to get in…to the school I mean. It’s kind of an ego thing I know. It’s also monetary. I just wrote them a check for $40 to apply. I’d hate to lose that. Secondly, and more simply, I want to take more in so I can give more out. It’s not really any more complicated than that. Unless of course you consider the amount of course work upcoming. I’ll deal with that when it gets here.

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