Monday, October 27, 2008


Something has been on my mind for quite awhile now. I’ve tried to resist it. I’ve tried to ignore it. I’ve tried not to engage it. I just can’t take it anymore. I am about to take on, once again, an old enemy that I had thought I’d outgrown. For any who have history with me, I’m sure that you’ve noticed a quietness about me on this subject. But now, it’s overcome me and the voices are loud again and I need to confront it head on. I am about to re-engage my one man rant against the purveyor of all that is bad in fast food, healthy food, comfort food, and every food that I can even think of. The mark of the beast in this case is “the golden arches”.
I’ve tried to maintain my dignity through many of their past years assaults against human health, dignity and intelligence. I didn’t say anything when they brought in the, then in vogue, “wraps”. I looked the other way when they tried to pass themselves off with healthy salads. I bit my tongue when their big revelation was to actually use real chicken in their McNuggets. I’ve even almost forgotten the ill fated “pizza years” of the early 90’s. But I have to tell you that I’ve reached my limit this time. This time they are treading on my sacred grounds. It’s the Mcspresso.
If you haven’t yet heard or seen one of their ads, you may not understand this. Maybe you’re not a coffee drinker and it doesn’t affect you. I need to be clear on this. I don’t personally care what they choose to try and pass off as food. I don’t even care if you choose to be deceived. My personal theory on the current economic crisis is that they are at it’s foundation. All of their billions of hamburgers sold have certainly cost us the national debt a few times over, maybe more, and the related health costs are certainly more than one nation could reasonably sustain. All of that aside, this is America and it is their God given right to fleece the naïve and get wealthy at it. It is everyone else’s God given right to throw money down the toilet, literally. However……………….when they begin to imply that the reason I drink the coffee that I drink is because of some level of entitlement and snobbery, then I take the gloves off.
Now I’m not saying that there aren’t a great many asses who frequent the places that I get my drink of choice. I deal with the triple tall, hold the foam, hold the milk, add the chai, low fat, no fat, no milk, soy, breve, grande, not too hot, but not too cool either, decaf, latte. I have no defense for them. They are people too. Have you ever gotten in front of someone in the midst of a “Big Mac” attack? One is annoying, but the other can be lethal. For a company to imply that I sit here at Starbucks on Monday mornings because of my attitude is just crossing the line. If good taste is construed as attitude, then I guess I’m guilty as charged.
One of the latest ads is elevating the reading of tabloid rags and reality TV addictions and implying that this is the path to enlightenment and that those who order their drinks followed by “do you want fries with that” are the real people of substance. Is it any wonder that the banking industry is collapsing if this is really the measure of intelligence in our country? I want to be clear on this. You can drink what you want to drink where you want to drink it. There happens to be a good reason why their drinks are only half of what I choose to pay. Just don’t make assumptions or critiques about me because I choose not to order mine from a place that couldn’t give me correct change if it didn’t read out correctly on the register.
In the end, I want it known that I tried to play fair. I had chosen to “drink and let drink”. I have watched the “great deceiver” from afar. I tried to stay neutral and look the other way. I can’t do it anymore. Enough is enough.

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