Lily

So like Bret Favre, minus the athletic skills and the unbelievable salary, I’m coming out of retirement. It’s not all that its cracked up to be. I went on this sabbatical of sorts a few months back because I found that I had run out of things in my brain to write about. The schooling, the schedule, and life seemed to have taken its toll and I was running on empty. Now I am finding that I need to write again to maintain a sense of balance and sanity, and we all know how important that is. Also, believe it or not, this early morning journey to the beach every week gave my week an anchor and sense of order. All of you who know me can appreciate how important that is in my life. It gives me a schedule again.
I’m happy to share, as I begin this journey once again, that my chair is right where I left it, and miracle of miracles…. The fireplace is on this morning. Must be under new management here…or else it is a definitive sign that economic recovery is upon us. Either way, the sun is out, the waters are blue, the mountains are snowy, and my coffee is very hot.
It’s Tuesday, which is a change for me anyway in my writing schedule. I now have a beautiful little reason that Monday’s are no longer free. They are dedicated to the ever lovely princess Lily. My wife and I have the joy of having our granddaughter from Sunday evening until Monday evening, so the entire 24 hours is dedicated to her. She is part of the reason for my need to write again. I am learning and being reminded of so much from my time with her that I just needed to put it somewhere. She helps me have a greater appreciation for parents and parenting. She reminds me often of how I must look to God and the great lengths that he goes to on my behalf.
One of the major changes that she has brought for me is that I find myself living more carefully. I choose my words more carefully before I speak when she is around, especially when speaking to our idiot cat. When she is with us I must consider another schedule above my own. It’s not that I have to do this, but if you’ve ever been around her when the bottle time has come and gone, you’d adjust too….and quickly. She unknowingly helps determine even where we live. I’d seriously consider really becoming an urban dweller, complete with an apartment with a roof top garden and all. However, we have a house with a yard and she can have her own room. It’s grandma and grandpa’s house. There just doesn’t seem to be as much romance in grandma and grandpa’s apartment. When grandma and grandpa get an apartment, it’s probably going to mean assisted living time. I’m tired, but not that tired. There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for her. I change her clothes, her diapers, her messes. I change my clothes when her messes become mine. I feed her and bathe her and rock her and walk her and try every thing that I can think of to make her smile. Most of the time she appreciates it. Some of the time she tolerates it. Occasionally she doesn’t like it at all.
It has occurred to me recently that I have someone in my own life who loves and responds to me even more that I do to her. No it’s not my wife, even though she is amazing. It’s not my caregiver either, I’m not yet that old. In the reality of my faith in a God who has done all of the above for me and more, I can find an appreciation and a parallel. For all that I’ve ever done for her, he does for me and more. For all that I’ll continue to do for her in her life, he is and will continue to do for me. It occurred to me yesterday, as I took her for a walk down the hill to the store, that, like my own kids and my own wife, I’d give everything up for her. And in that moment, I was reminded once again, that he already did.