Monday, November 05, 2007


It’s taken me awhile I’ll admit, but I’m really beginning to get the idea that things are not nearly what they’ve been made out to be. For the most part anyway. I really have resisted complete surrender to this concept. Those who really know me will have a hard time believing that I would hold on to an optimistic view of anything. Really, it doesn’t matter to me whether the glass is half full or half empty, it still seems that I’m drowning in the bottom of it most days. Still I hold on to hope.
I recently installed some software on my traveling friend here in hopes that I would encourage it to longer life and strong performance. The program in question came with all of these promises, most of which I downplayed when wrestling with the possibility of purchase. I have been down this road before. Things are rarely what they are promoted to be and many claims fall miserably short of expectation. The one that I did hold out hope for was the promise of cleaning up enough clutter that my boot up time would decrease significantly. Me being of the impatient temperament, this was a hook that I just couldn’t get off of. I was a bit reluctant though. I’ve been burned before. I just wanted what was best for my electronic companion. Surely, God would smile on me this purchase. Certainly someone has marketed something that was worth my financial investment. I’ve missed it on most of my purchases so I guessed that the odds were in my favor this time.
Not this time. I guess that with past experience and self recognized pessimism, I would have been content with even the illusion of quickness. Not this time. It’s become a bit like running underwater. I almost don’t recognize my friend anymore. I fear that I’ve forever altered him. So now I drift into the realm of questioning. Have I been taken one more time, or does this really work for everyone else and I’m in the Charlie Brown “I got a rock” place of existence. I think I can deal with being taken. It puts me on a level playing field with all of the other suckers born all of those other minutes. I can’t deal with the rocks. One more piece of the Jenga puzzle of my life has been pulled.
Today my wife and I leave for a short getaway to Portland. We’re looking forward to it really. I booked a downtown hotel supposedly in a great location. At least the online pics held some promise. I have great hopes. Surely this time something will resemble it’s claims and I can hold on to hope once more. Anyway, you may think this overly dramatic, but I’m really getting tired. I’m leaving with the echoes of failed software ringing in my consciousness.
I’m tired of unfulfilled promises. I’m tired of hollow people with polished exteriors. I’m tired of hundred dollar haircuts on ten cent heads. I know that there is more out there. I live for it. I understand the importance of promise. It’s not something to be played with, yet we as a culture have been more than willing to compromise the trust that is inherently built in to a promise. My life is based on the promise of all promises. Unfortunately many who claim the same promise have difficulty living it. I know that I do. Like so many software companies, we claim something and fall short in the delivery. We need to try harder, understanding what we really have. This one is too important to leave to the marketing group. We need to carry this one ourselves, with honesty and integrity. He’ll take of the delivery.


Bill said...

Yes! I to am unsettled by people who appear to be one thing only toprove when they open their thoughts prove to be something far less than n what was represented.

Anonymous said...

"I’m tired of unfulfilled promises. I’m tired of hollow people with polished exteriors. I’m tired of hundred dollar haircuts on ten cent heads. I know that there is more out there. I live for it. I understand the importance of promise."

I couldn't have said it better myself. I'm tired of being tired and along with those ten cent heads are those ten cent hearts and spirits.

What I need to do for my own spirit is look within and keep others at a distance because I feed off of them. Sometimes those people are good and other times they wear my spirit out. It's not that they're not good people, but I wonder if they ever look at themselves and truly evaluate who they are and how they impact people around them.

I look for the glimmer of hope (whatever that really means) and promise in this life, too. Regardless of how you feel about yourself or others, you remind me that it's out there, Dan.

I hope I haven't placed too much pressure on you or made you feel responsible for some spirit out there struggling to hold on because no one is perfect, but I choose to see (or read) the spirit within "Dan".