Return

I picked a great day to return.  Alki point is nearly always the place that the Fall and Winter storms batter the Seattle area shoreline. The winds from the North funnel down the sound for a direct hit on our urban peninsula. From the warmth of my window seat in Starbucks I can feel the waves pounding the promenade.  Even from across the street, while sipping on the first of my holiday season drinks, I can feel the concussions in my feet as they rest on this stool. Its good to be back in more ways than one.  

This place, once upon a time, years ago my weekly go to writing home, now seems a vague echo of another life.  To be honest, even writing, especially with any regularity has been nearly forgotten.  It's not that I haven't tried.  I've tried so many times to just sit down and, once again be able to process outwardly the internal workings of my soul.  For years, sifting through my thoughts and pouring them into this space and a few others has brought balance and kept sanity.  Based on my recent revisiting of the posts in this blog, I'd guess the sanity part could be argued, but there was at least an illusion I could maintain.  Going back through the archives I can visually see when the tired began.  I can then trace from tired to exhaustion and finally to a level of burn out as everything ground to a halt. Even when we moved back here and I now live just up above my former sanctuary, I couldn't find the mental energy to come down the hill in the morning. In recent weeks, with persistent love and encouragement from my wife as well as numerous conversations with my therapist it seemed as if the time had come to pull my laptop back out and enter in to this space once again. How long this goes only the calendar will tell.

This morning feels like coming home to some degree. I've missed this ... the wind, the waves, the ferries and buses shuttling unknown people to unknown destinations, the walkers and their dogs, the babies in strollers ... I've missed the sunlit snow on the mountains across the water. I've missed the hiss of the steaming milk and the smell of espresso.  People come and go here as I remember, although their work attire has morphed into exercise wear.  Because of the pandemic, very few seats are here for sitting.  Fortunately I found one with an unobstructed view and wouldn't you know it, the only other seat occupied by a guy loudly proclaiming voter fraud conspiracies in numerous calls to whomever.  Sometimes crazy is even comforting. It's also the day for free Starbucks "to go" Holiday cups.

... and no they don't even say "Christmas" on them so just get over yourselves.  I'm trying to hold on to hope here.

Comments

Unknown said…
Glad you are back writing - I always enjoy your point of view - but then I may be prejudiced since you and I are related. Mom
10:05 AM
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