Conflicted
Ok... So I've been enjoying the relative peacefulness here for what, 3 weeks??? Guess who just showed up? If you've read my earlier posts you know the answer to this one. That's right... A new group of retired "women" walkers are now holding court in my upstairs sanctuary. Nice...merry Christmas to me. The week just keeps getting better and better.
A few days ago our source of video fulfillment decided that it couldn't do "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time. The little red light just blinked mockingly in the void. Experience told me an the manual validated that it was time to call the Sony service man. Right...like that's going to happen. What it really means is check the papers for the best sale on a new one. There will be no repurposing, reconditioning, or redeployment for the beast. I call it the " beast" because it literally is. Lets face it, when you need a chain hoist to get it up the stairs and then a mini crane to load it on the truck, it qualifies as a beast....and no I'm not exaggerating, that is what it took to get it out of our family room and onto a truck. It was one of the original Sony HD flat screens that weighed in at 480 pounds, give or take a hundred.
I share all this to get to the point of this, which is to say I'm now conflicted. A big part of me has been looking for ways in which we can cut back on the runaway train of luxury costs to be able to put more resources in play for things more meaningful and possibly eternal. I'm wondering how much of what I have is really meant to be "mine" anyway. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking socialism or any of that...its just that there is so much more that could be done with whatever I can turn loose to the source of it anyway...that being the Creator.
Another part of me has these collections of very cool movies that should never be viewed on anything smaller than a hi-def 42 inch screen. I have arguements debating all day long. I can get a new unit so cheaply now. In 27 years of marriage we've never bought a new one of our own. Even the "beast" was given by a friend. I'm entitled aren't I ? Doesn't that qualify me from some exemption? But still... The money we'd save on our satellite alone could provide for 2 more children in a developing country. Neal Postman once declared that we, as a culture, were/are entertaining ourselves to death. I think that's true, and not only to our death, but while others are dying.
I just need a sign...something to guide me...I was intending to pray about it this morning in my new found refuge...that is until the "walkers guild" showed up for their morning meeting. Maybe I'm supposed to give up coffee too? Now there's some serious resources.
A few days ago our source of video fulfillment decided that it couldn't do "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time. The little red light just blinked mockingly in the void. Experience told me an the manual validated that it was time to call the Sony service man. Right...like that's going to happen. What it really means is check the papers for the best sale on a new one. There will be no repurposing, reconditioning, or redeployment for the beast. I call it the " beast" because it literally is. Lets face it, when you need a chain hoist to get it up the stairs and then a mini crane to load it on the truck, it qualifies as a beast....and no I'm not exaggerating, that is what it took to get it out of our family room and onto a truck. It was one of the original Sony HD flat screens that weighed in at 480 pounds, give or take a hundred.
I share all this to get to the point of this, which is to say I'm now conflicted. A big part of me has been looking for ways in which we can cut back on the runaway train of luxury costs to be able to put more resources in play for things more meaningful and possibly eternal. I'm wondering how much of what I have is really meant to be "mine" anyway. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking socialism or any of that...its just that there is so much more that could be done with whatever I can turn loose to the source of it anyway...that being the Creator.
Another part of me has these collections of very cool movies that should never be viewed on anything smaller than a hi-def 42 inch screen. I have arguements debating all day long. I can get a new unit so cheaply now. In 27 years of marriage we've never bought a new one of our own. Even the "beast" was given by a friend. I'm entitled aren't I ? Doesn't that qualify me from some exemption? But still... The money we'd save on our satellite alone could provide for 2 more children in a developing country. Neal Postman once declared that we, as a culture, were/are entertaining ourselves to death. I think that's true, and not only to our death, but while others are dying.
I just need a sign...something to guide me...I was intending to pray about it this morning in my new found refuge...that is until the "walkers guild" showed up for their morning meeting. Maybe I'm supposed to give up coffee too? Now there's some serious resources.
Comments
You could always try home roasting for your coffee. It's cheap, fun, and you learn a lot about coffee. Plus, I think it tastes better if it has truly been a labor of love on your behalf.
As to the TV -- I don't know what to say. We've opted for simplicity. We have a TV that is a hand-me-down from someone who upgraded to a flat panel. (I couldn't even tell you what size it is.) We've been conflicted, however, when it comes to satellite/cable bills. We've considered cutting the cable so that we might have that money freed up to be more generous with.
To further complicate things, you might want to read 2 Corinthians 8-9. These chapters have caused me to ask questions as to what it means to be ready/prepared to give; what generosity might require for us to forgo; etc.
Love you, brother. And am praying for discernment for you as you reside in the conflict.