Tuesday, March 22, 2005

interesting

I need a hobby. It's probably more like I need therapy. I've always been able to write. It just comes naturally. You may not think so after reading the random thought patterns that may be exhibited here. I've been to writing classes and have been asked why I was even taking the class. I could already write. I know that I can write, I just have always wanted to know why, and how and all that mechanical stuff...you know, grammar. "Why do you care?", has always been the response, "just do it". Something happened after the last encounter of this type. I quit writing. I started talking. I never really was a great talker. It didn't come naturally. In fact I had to take a class. I took more than one class and gradually learned to talk. An interesting thing happened though. As I worked hard at talking, I quit working at what came naturally. I quit writing. Well, I still do some from time to time, but I find myself doing much less of it as time goes by. So much less in fact that I find myself annoyed at those who do spend their time writing. I've always wanted to write a book. On what subject I have no idea, but I want to write one anyway.  Every time I turn around, I find more people that I know and respect doing something that I find harder to respect. They're writing books. Some even writing books that I, in my own arrogant mind, think that I could have, or should have, written myself but didn't. Why? Well it wasn't because I didn't have the time, I have the same amount of hours alloted me as every other individual on the planet. It's not because I don't know how, or what or when to write. I just forgot how to do what came so naturally for so long. But as I said, I need a hobby, and I need therapy so why not kill two birds with one stone. I know that it's probably not too PC to destroy birds for the sake of enlightenment, but anyway, why not begin to write? It's a hobby, although not a very masculine one necessarily. It's certainly therapeutic though. There is probably something spiritual in all this. At least I hope that is the road I'm venturing down. It's ironic that as I teach (notice talking) about spiritual gifts lately (those tendencies that God equips us to do naturally) I have totally forgotten that which God has gifted me. I've needed peace lately. I've needed a hobby. So far, to this date, my hobbies have consisted of that which doesn't come naturally and that which does require work and training which only leads to a marginal competence, all the while ignoring that which God has gifted me for. I've finally given up, and as you may have guessed from reading what I've written, I'm following His lead.  Wouldn't you know it, I feel better already

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